Hugh T. Brooks

The stars have aligned for Blackboy Infinity, “AKA kinda hard to get rid of me AKA the lyrical doctor with the melody,” and not just because it’s Pisces season. Coming off his latest release, No Sorries Allowed, the Brooklyn-based artist is calling on his listeners to drop the act, quit the pity, and ‘watch this.’ But this roll call for authenticity isn’t just for the audience, it’s for himself, too.

Though a performer by nature, 24-year-old Infinity has had to overcome debilitating anxiety to channel his true feelings and self into his art. For other artists, this may come naturally, but for Infinity, it’s been a long journey to emerge as the electrifying icon he is. Though, have no doubts. By embracing his challenges through disassociation, vulnerability, and a little bit (read: a lot of bit) of fun, it’s going to be hard to bring Infinity back down to Earth.

It all started on stages in one form or another. From kid pageants to plays, dance shows to being “a damn mascot,” Infinity is a performer through and through. He’s the son of a music producer and a talented MC, so you may think his musical destiny was written early and often. But after one bad experience singing at a kid pageant, Infinity shied away. “I look at the two as separate, as far as the performing arts end and the musician end. Growing up [music] was always in the peripheral, always in proximity to me, but it was never something that I initially aspired to be,” said Infinity.

In fact, despite his lengthy resumé, performance never came easy for Infinity. He experiences overwhelming performance anxiety as he prepares to step into the spotlight, and due to this obstacle, Infinity slowly separated from the performing arts during high school and college. His only solace in high school was his bald eagle mascot costume, which allowed him to express and act without the bright lights on his face. “Hot, sweaty, stink-ass costume. It was just fun. I love moments where I’m able to dissociate and play a character or play a role and live in a different world,” said Infinity.

During his ‘quieter’ years, Infinity entertained his performative genes in more informal settings. His friends would put on a beat, freestyle, and make sure the best bars made it to Snapchat. This exploratory fun proved to be the push Infinity needed, and after a particularly impressive cypher, he began to write down his favorites. “It was never like ‘oh we’re gonna take this serious,’ but then I realized that it sounded good to me…and 2019 was when I further explored the idea by writing some more lyrics,” said Infinity.

In 2020, Infinity recorded his very first song on his MacBook’s Garageband. In 2021, he released his first project, Lucid Aspirations, filled with alliteration, braggadocio, and self-described “corny” lyrics. In 2022, he realized there was opportunity for more. In Infinity’s final semester at Georgetown University, he encouraged himself, “Let’s actually put some thought into a project. Let’s create a storyline. Let’s do the full thing.”

Like many things, stories come naturally to Infinity. He’s dabbled in creative writing, comedic sketches, and a bit of poetry, wielding narrative however it serves him best. So, embracing his commitment, he completed project number two, Unprovoked Promises. This album features a more defined and personal Blackboy Infinity, sharing deeper emotions alongside his standard, energetic boom-bap. His story winds through his school and social experience and closes with a resounding announcement of identity on “Camp Lazlo.”

“B-L-A-C-K to the B-O-Y / Infinity still couldn’t beat me if you tried,” raps Infinity.

While Infinity found a new confidence in the recording studio, the challenge of pure performance remained. Besides one virtual concert, he hadn’t performed his music for a crowd since his first pageant experience, and the pressure from friends and supporters was growing. Embracing the inevitable, he decided to take the mic with only months left in college, and it wasn’t a smooth transition.

Picture this: his legs were shaking; he was “folding like an origami” and his feet were frozen to the brick. Despite being surrounded by close friends, the spotlight was as stressful as ever. The music started and the words barely came, and then, something clicked. “I realized that ‘you need to move, and you have to disassociate.’ I have to really immerse myself in the experience of the performance,” said Infinity.

It was the mascot all over again. The persona and identity Infinity performed on stage became a kind of costume. He focused on the crowd, embraced the personality and ‘world’ he created through music, and disassociated to success. It wasn’t a different Infinity on stage, in fact, it was an even more authentic Infinity on stage. With the weight of performance anxiety lifted, Blackboy Infinity rocked the show, and he’s done so at every performance since.

In the past year, Infinity has performed at shows across New York and Washington, D.C., including concerts with SoFar Sounds, Focus Magazine, Taste of Sounds and more. He’s also released short visualizers, promotional social media clips, and a recent full-length music video for his song, “Iverson.” Capped off by his EP, No Sorries Allowed, the “world” of Blackboy Infinity is booming, and his brand is exploding alongside it. “It’s weird, I hate being perceived, that goes back to my anxiety. But I also enjoy having a social presence like, ‘this is my world.’ Let’s all chill out, this shit is going to be fun as hell,” said Infinity.

And ‘fun as hell’ it is. If you’ve met, watched, or engaged with Blackboy Infinity in the past few months, you know he’s sticking to his word. While his anxieties may still fester in silence, he’s in “an era of no overthinking. Just doing, and leaving it at that,” said Infinity.

In just over two years, Infinity went from cringing on stage to sending crowds into a frenzy. He went from recording behind-the-scenes to studio time with industry legends. So, what changed? Sure, he re-learned how to disassociate on stage. Yes, he fed the fun side of his creative identity. But at the center of it all: he made himself vulnerable. Instead of fearing his anxieties, he embraced them, and this allowed his authentic feelings to guide the way forward.

Of course, the vulnerability switch didn’t just ‘flip’ one day, and Infinity alluded to many contributing factors. He cites his homecoming to Brooklyn as an instigating event in his transformation. He also notes his deliberate explorations outside of his comfort zone—both in the creative process and everyday life—as reasons for his growth. Perhaps the most powerful, however, is the people he’s surrounded himself with. “Working with [the right people] is fun. I get to crack jokes; I get to like sit here and be as wild as possible; I get to have moments of vulnerability… they push me in ways where even if I’m uncomfortable at first, it’s a way that challenges me,” said Infinity.

The discomfort that once pushed Infinity away from performance now leads him towards a bright future. Though it hasn’t been a simple journey, it’s a familiar one for artists who struggle with rejection, insecurity, or anxiety. Perhaps, between his performative identity, aptitude for pure fun, and supportive friends, Infinity has found the formula for safe yet productive vulnerability. Who knows where it might take him? Well, Blackboy Infinity does. “Right now, I feel like I’m in some kind of prime. I don’t want to hear nothing. I don’t want no sorries. No, you’re gonna sit from the sidelines and enjoy this shit,” said Infinity.

Follow Blackboy Infinity on Instagram and TikTok @BlackboyInifinity to stay tuned for the greatness to come. You can also watch his recent music video, “Iverson.” here, or listen to his latest EP, No Sorries Allowed, here.

All photos in this article are courtesy of Shawn Shuttlesworth, @Puusherman on Instagram.